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Simple Tips To Be A Better Listener In Your Marriage

This article is all about the small ways to enhance listening in marriage, resulting in a deeper understanding between you and your partner.

Communication is essential and is usually at the heart of any marriage or relationship. Proper communication involves speaking and listening to your partners or spouse. Experts reveal adopting better listening skills will be essential to making your marriage last. The art of listening and understanding what your partner is saying is essential in your relationships.

With the lower average concentration span, approximately eight seconds, you may find it challenging to listen effectively. Communication breakdown might lead to blaming, defensive, and unheard feelings, which are dangerous in your relationship. Therefore, it’ll be good to adopt essential skills on how to be a good listener. This article outlines the top ways to improve your marital listening skills and enhance your marriage.

listening in marriage

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Why is it important to be a good listener?

Experts advise concentrating on being a great listener rather than a good talker to enhance your marriage. Learning listening skills is the best way to become a good communicator who can easily understand something, express validation, and summarize information. Active listening in marriage helps you understand your partner better and feel close and connected.

Furthermore, being a better listener is appropriate to avoid unnecessary marital conflict. In case of a conflict, these skills help you get the appropriate mechanism to resolve it. It’s an innate skill that all marriage partners must acquire and build to enhance a successful communication foundation.

A good communication foundation is a crucial binding element for any couple or partners. It helps strengthen and balance your marriage or relationship, making it last longer. Acquiring these skills enables you to have productive conversations with your partner and solve any issues affecting you through understanding.

Being a great listener also reduces the number of misunderstandings. Remember that when you have frequent spats or misunderstandings with your spouse, it’ll be essential to leverage active listening skills. Read through the article to get these skills to enhance your marriage or relationship.

How to be a good listener in your marriage

Being a better listener in your marriage comes with various benefits to enhance your relationship with your partner. But, how can you improve marital listening skills? Below are the top ways how to become a good listener in your marriage.

Eliminate distractions

Distractions might be the sole source of poor listening when talking or communicating with your partner. These distractions may range from phones, television, music system, and other distractions. Various activities, like washing or cooking during the conversation, can also impact your understanding when talking about various issues. Experts advise that to become a great listener, it’ll be vital to keep off the distractions to ensure you focus on your conversion entirely.

Alternatively, you can move to a quiet place away from possible distractions, such as having a conversation in your bedroom. When talking to your partner, switch off the televisions and radios and keep off the phone to get the appropriate time together. When possible, it’ll be wise if you stop the activity or house chores when having the conversations.

Performing the activity or operating the various appliances might divert your attention or focus, leading to various misunderstandings. Apart from the misunderstanding and compromising your ability to listen, having different activities while talking to your partner is disrespectful.

withhold judgement

Withholding judgment is another crucial skill you must achieve to enhance your active listening in marriage. This aspect involves allowing your partner to finish taking or explaining their point before sharing your comments. It’s an essential skill you need to adopt when looking to be a good listener.

While talking, you might have conflicting comments or a different side of the particular story. You might feel your partner is saying the wrong thing during the conversation, but it’ll be good to do it without judgment. Listen to the whole part of the story and avoid pinpointing or fixating everything your partner is saying that’s not in line with your side of the story.

The appropriate way is to allow your spouse to finish explaining or clarifying the points or issues. After they finish, you can now bring your issues or the side of the story. Having judgment while your partner is talking results in misunderstanding and even conflicts.

summarize what you are hearing

Experts reveal that most individuals have a lower concentration level of eight seconds. However, you can enhance concentration and focus by summarising what your spouse says. After keenly listening, you can get the key points and summarize them in your understanding.

You can then try to paraphrase this content or information in questioning and calm, neutral tone. This tone is essential for check-ins and enhances the possibility of the conversation parts you didn’t understand.

The main aim of summarizing and paraphrasing is to enhance your listening and understanding skills during conversations. Furthermore, it helps to show that you understand all aspects of the conversation to prevent further conflicts or misunderstandings. Lastly, paraphrasing also enhances how your spouse feels or understands what they want to hear.

active listening in marriage
consider verbal cues and body language

Body language and verbal cues also count when you want to be a great listener. When communicating with your partner, you don’t only need your ears to listen, but also the body language speaks a lot. Ensure that you get the proper body language and verbal cues to enhance your understanding skills and prevent misunderstandings.

Essentially, maintain eye contact when having a conversation or talking to your partner. Maintaining eye contact is appropriate to enhance your listening when talking to your spouse. Apart from eye contact, you can enhance your skills by leaning forward while listening to your spouse. These are essential non-verbal cues that show you’re concentrating on the discussion or talk.

Apart from the body language, it’ll be good to consider various nonverbal cues to enhance your understanding. When having the conversation, you show that you’re listening by smiling, nodding, or using phrases like mmh. These verbal cues help you to prevent nervousness and show that you’re interested in or understanding the conversation.

Listen and seek clarification

The best way to enhance active listening in marriage is to listen to the entire conversation before asking any questions. You can listen to the entire conversation and then provide feedback or seek clarification on certain aspects. After the conversation, you can ask questions or seek clarification on some matters to ensure that you understand everything from the conversation.

It might sound easy, but many couples or spouses are usually unable to listen and enquire clarification on specific issues. You must adopt an essential skill when having a sensitive conversation that might lead to arguments or misunderstanding. Seeking clarifications is the best way to show your partners that you’re concentrating and understanding.

Remember, a marriage conversation is not a debate where you can interrupt at any time. It’ll be vital to wait until you’re done with the conversations to seek clarification on some issues or aspects you didn’t understand. Experts reveal it’s an essential focusing skill that helps prevent heated arguments.

Paraphrase from time to time

When focusing and concentrating on your partner, it’s usually essential to wait until they’re done with the conversation to comment on the topic or particular issue. However, it’ll be wise to use this to become a better listener by paraphrasing the speech from time to time. As you continue with the conversation, you can paraphrase the speaker’s speech in your wordings.

Paraphrasing shows or lets the partners know that you’re concentrating or tuned to the conversation. Furthermore, it’s an essential skill that helps or provides a chance to clarify a particular issue the speaker is talking about. While paraphrasing, you can ask a question about what you’re talking about. For instance, you can ask, ” you said purchasing a car first will be more essential than a house?”

Apart from enhancing your conversation and understanding, showing the spouse that you’re following the conversation is a meaningful way. You can also use it as a technique to prevent any misunderstanding on various conversation topics or issues.

Avoid including your agenda

Following your partner’s agenda will be an essential technique to enhance your listening skills. When listening, experts advise that you let go of your thoughts or plan and get what your partner is talking about. Letting go of your agenda helps allow the conversation to continue without any interruption or issues.

Significantly, allow the conversation to flow without providing any advice or trying to come up with specific solutions to solve some problems from the talk. It’s an essential skill to enhance your listening in marriage conversations. You can also use this technique to help or rescue your spouse when the talk turns intense or emotional.

Experts reveal that the best way to enhance or strengthen your marriage is to allow your spouse to express their feelings. You can then help them out by getting to them and providing a warm presence but not questioning them.

Express empathy

Expressing empathy or validation is another critical aspect of enhancing concentration when having a marital talk. Despite being hard to express empathy and validation, these skills are essential to exploring your partner’s needs, feelings and thoughts. When expressing empathy, it shows that your spouse’s feelings, thoughts, and needs matter more and make sense to you.

Generally, experts enhance that you use empathy to help you understand your partner’s experience. However, expressing empathy during the talk doesn’t mean that you agree with what the individual is saying. Despite having different perceptions on the issue, showing empathy is appropriate to show that your partner’s feelings, needs, and thoughts make sense or are valid.

Apart from enhancing your communication and focusing skills, you can try out this skill to help build a happy and lasting marriage and relationship. Empathy is a critical aspect that should come naturally to bind the spouses together in any relationship or marriage. It allows you to show your partner that you’re genuinely by their side and understand the circumstances or things they are dealing with. You can adapt this skill to improve your marital communicative and problem-solving skills.

Avoid interruptions

When listening to your partner, the best way to ensure that you’re an active listener is to ensure that you don’t interrupt. Many individuals argue that you can have a polite interruption when your partners talk. Nonetheless, the appropriate way to become a good listener is by avoiding any interruption when the speaker is talking.

Allow your spouse to talk or explain all the points or explain the different ideas before pausing a question or challenge. Having random questions and issues as the talk is proceeding is one way of showing that you aren’t a good listener. You can note down what your partner is talking about, summarize, and seek clarification on various ideas after the conversation.

Jumping into the conversations, either politely or rudely, shows you’ve got inadequate listening skills. Furthermore, interrupting someone while explaining a particular thing or activity is an act of rudeness and disrespect. Disrespect and rudeness are primary causes of marriage breaks or marital issues. These factors create misunderstandings, heated debates, and arguments, which may turn awful on some occasions, as it creates abstinence and tension.

Bottom line...

You can adopt many aspects to enhance your listening skills and ensure active listening in marriage. The above information outlines the essentials of how to be a good listener. Being a great listener enhances understanding, improves your communication skills, and makes your marriage or relationship stronger.

This post was all about how active listening is an essential communication factor that helps to improve and enhance your marriage.

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