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How to Repair Broken Trust in Marriage

This article includes 10 tips that will help you repair broken trust in your relationship.

Marriage is built on confidence, and it takes many years to build that belief. That explains why people date for many years before they agree to get into marriage. However, rebuilding the trust could be challenging once it has been broken.

The majority of divorces result from broken confidence between the parties. Unlike in other institutions, couples may forgive each other, but the confidence deficit will always be there and could be a disaster; if necessary, measures are not taken to repair the damage.

broken trust

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so, what is trust?

The belief in someone’s ability, honesty, and character is trust. When two people come together to build an institution known as marriage, the partners believe in each other. Breaking trust may quickly bring down a relationship you have built for many years.

The good news is that you can always rebuild confidence in your union. Before moving to how to rebuild confidence in your marriage, let’s talk about the causes of suspicion in marriages.

What causes suspicion in marriages?

Marriage is a fragile institution that can be quickly brought down by uncertainty. Besides, there are many reasons why trust is broken in relationships, including:

Cheating

When couples commit to leaving their relatives and starting a new family, they pledge to be honest with each other. However, when infidelity becomes the order of the day, or a spouse finds out that the lover is cheating, it breaks the confidence.

Affairs are one of the most common causes of suspicion in relationships around the globe. In this internet era, where people can meet online and even build relationships, the cheating rates among married people have increased.

Not keeping promises

When people are in love, they tend to make many promises to their partners. Some may be long-term or even short-term promises. However, if any spouse fails to keep the promises internationally or unknowingly, it might break the confidence.

If the behavior of not keeping promises continues, it may risk the entire marriage. Thus, it’s essential to ensure you stick to and keep the promises you make to your companion.

Manipulation or lies

The basic unit of love and relationship is being honest with each other. If you tend to lie to your lover, they will find out one day, ending up breaking the confidence. Your companion will find it hard to believe anything coming from your mouth. Besides, never manipulate your companion.

Most divorce cases emanate from a spouse trying to manipulate the other or after one partner realizes the lover is manipulative. This may also lead to domestic violence if not well handled; there is help available 24/7. 

Withholding secrets

Partners must be open to each other for a marriage to survive. If a spouse realizes any efforts to withhold vital information, it breaks the confidence.

Let your partner be aware of your fears, properties, and any other important information you may have. Besides, even if you’re going through hard times, it’s always good to make your spouse aware. The spouse may have a solution to your problems, enhancing the confidence level between the two of you.

Not being available in the hour of need

People go through a lot, even those in marriages. Life is full of challenges, and at your lowest, you expect your companion to stand by your side. This is where true love is tested. You know people genuinely love you when they are there for you when going through tough times.

However, if your lover fails to be there in the hour of need, it raises eyebrows and may negatively affect your relationship. The confidence will be broken, and repairing it may not be easy.

Dishonesty

Marriages are mainly anchored on honesty. If any of the partners start being dishonest, it makes it hard for them to trust each other.

When there is no honesty, the confidence disappears, and eventually, the relationship may not last for long. The foundation of any relationship is honesty and confidence. If the two can’t be traced, forget about your love or marriage.

What are the critical signs of trust in marriages?

When there is no suspicion in your marriage, you can quickly tell, and when it disappears, you will notice. You can’t hide uncertainty in your relationship; the signs are all over. Interestingly, some couples may not even notice when the confidence is fading away. Some partners think it’s a joke and notice when it’s too late to repair the broken trust.

Here are some of the critical signs of confidence in the relationship:

  • When there is trust in your marriage, you will always be committed to your spouse.
  • You respect your spouse’s emotional and physical boundaries.
  • The emotional attachment between the two of you will be solid. You will want to be close to your partner and miss each other when not together.
  • Your partner will always be ready to listen and attend to your feelings or needs.
  • No one will be hiding anything. You will be open to speaking about your plans, fears, or challenges openly.
  • You will be ready to support each other.

When the confidence breaks, you will experience the opposite of the above signs. You may find yourself disagreeing on minor issues that you could quickly agree on when the confidence was still strong.

How then do you repair a broken trust in marriage?

Now that you have noticed the confidence has been broken between the two of you, what then do you need to repair the damage? Various ways have proven to be effective in repairing broken confidences in relationships; they include these ten:

1. Accept you’re wrong and apologize

No one expects you to be perfect. However, owning up to your mistakes can help you build a strong marriage. Don’t be forcing issues even when you notice your companion is not happy.

Be the first person to accept the mistake and apologize. This will soften your partner’s heart and make them believe you again. If you’re not sure about the mistake, start by apologizing to make your companion feel valued and loved. Then find out what you might have done wrong. Besides, if you apologize, be keen not to repeat the same mistake.

2. Communicate with your partner

Communication is an essential part of any relationship or marriage. You should be free with your partner and open to communicating at any time. Strong communication makes it easy for your partner to believe you. Even if you’re on the wrong side, making your companion know your side of the story is vital in repairing broken confidence.

Don’t be mean with words or explanations; make your companion understand what transpired and why you made such a decision.

3. Be ready to forgive

Like in any other institution, you should expect your partner may mess up or hurt you in one way or another. That’s the nature of being human. However, practicing forgiveness and tolerance will help you keep your relationship strong. Don’t be quick to judge your spouse or be a hardliner when handling domestic issues. Be open and ready to forgive your partner.

Besides, don’t forgive and leave it there. Let your companion know what they have done to avoid making the same mistake in the future. Remember, you are partners who have committed to staying together for better or worse.

4. Look back to consider the mistake you have committed

It’s always advisable to reflect on the mistakes you have committed that could have broken some trust in your marriage.

Commit not to repeat the same mistakes and let your partner understand the situation or circumstances that could have forced you to make such as mistake. Sometimes, your partner could be the reason why you make some mistakes. If both of you agree, you will have an easy time repairing the trust deficit.

5. If possible, avoid dwelling on the past

Disagreements are normal in marriages. However, when you have solved an issue amicably, it is unnecessary to bring it up every time. This will derail the rebuilding of the broken belief between you. Let the solved issues rest. That way, you will have an easy time rebuilding the broken trust.

6. Be patient with your partner

Now that you have dated and married your partner for some time. It means you understand your partner better. Depending on the nature of your mistake, your partner may need some time to heal. For instance, if you have been caught cheating, that may negatively affect your partner’s emotions. Be quick to apologize for your mistake(s) and be patient with your partner. If you solve the problem, your partner will need time to overcome the emotional betrayal.

Sometimes, your spouse may take even months to heal. Thus, never be in a hurry when you want to rebuild trust in your marriage.

7. Be there for your partner

People get into marriage to help each other attain their life goals. Besides, your partner expects you to be there when things are tough. Sacrifice when your partner needs financial or emotional support. This way, your spouse will believe and even love you more.

A strong bond in the family is built when one of you is going through tough times, and the other partner is readily available to help.

8. Be consistent and honest

Consistency in what you do or say will earn your partner’s trust in the long run. If you have a habit of not keeping promises or being dishonest. Then you will have to change after messing up and apologizing. Many people have challenges rebuilding trust in their marriages because they can’t keep their word.

Your partner will never believe anything coming from you if you’re dishonest. However, if you’re ready to change things and rebuild the trust in your relationship, then you have no choice. Work for it, mean what you say, keep promises, and be consistent. With time, your partner will start believing you again.

9. Accept things might never get back to where it all started

Your partner might forgive you for breaking the trust but will never forget. This is a reality that many people don’t accept. Once you have broken the confidence in a marriage, things will not get back to normal. However, your commitment, consistency, and patience might help you rebuild the trust faster. The love could be there, but confidence levels may never get to 100%.

Respect your partner’s feelings and emotions. Don’t go overboard during this period of rebuilding trust in your relationship.

10. Commit and sacrifice

Nothing comes easy, not even rebuilding trust in your marriage. If you notice you have broken the trust, be ready to commit yourself to make things right. Do whatever you can do to make your partner happy and feel loved. Take your partner on a date to spice up your love as you try to rebuild the trust. Accept the reality and work towards regaining your partner’s confidence.

Your partner will see your efforts and soften his or her heart for you with time. Let your actions speak louder than words.

How long will it take to rebuild trust in my marriage?

No one wants to be in a relationship with broken trust. It feels very uncomfortable to be in such as relationship. Both partners would love to resolve the issue and return to the previous rosy relationship.

However, the reality is that rebuilding trust in marriage takes a lot of time. There is no guaranteed timeline for rebuilding confidence. Again, depending on the occurrences that broke the trust, the rebuilding period could be longer or shorter. Besides, your partner’s personality could also play a significant role in rebuilding confidence in your relationship.

Infidelity issues take longer to resolve than lies or misunderstandings between the partners. It’s easier to forgive a partner who lied to you than the one who has been cheating on you. Thus, be prepared to believe in the process of repairing broken trust. It may not be easy; it may take longer, but eventually, you will attain your goal.

Marriage is beautiful when both partners believe and love each other. However, when the trust is broken, the love is also affected, and the whole institution of marriage risks going down. Therefore, it’s upon one or both partners to rebuild the trust before the family breaks. 

It may take time to rebuild the trust, but you will get there. If you find it hard to repair the damage, always consult with your marriage counselor for guidance.

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